Let’s just admit it: parenting is hard, and you never have enough time to nurture yourself or your relationship with your partner. If you feel like you’re being pulled in all directions, intentional living may be for you.
In this article, we’ll explain what it means to be intentional toward parenting, partnering, and self-care and offer you some options for specific strategies.
Acting with Intention
When you do things in a deliberate, planful way based on clear goals, values, and principles, you are being intentional. The opposite of an intentional approach is one that’s based on impulse, habit, strong emotions, or external pressure.
In the context of parenting, where the pressures can be overwhelming, acting with intention is a lot easier said than done. However, if you set aside a few minutes every day to work on your strategies, being intentional will soon come naturally.
What is Intentional Parenting?
Intentional parenting means parenting in a mindful way, being aware of the choices and decisions you make around parenting, and bringing those choices and decisions into line with your values and the principles you want to live by.
Intentional parenting involves:
- Prioritizing your values in your decisions and interactions.
- Being present and fully engaged with your children, putting aside distractions so you can connect with them authentically.
- Recognizing that each child is unique and may require different approaches at different times but staying consistent with rules and expectations.
- Using positive discipline techniques that focus on teaching and guiding rather than punishment.
- Taking a long-term, holistic approach to your children’s development rather than whatever works in the present moment.
Self-Care and Intentional Parenting
Looking after yourself is critical to acting with intention toward your children; without a healthy base to work from, your efforts at intentional parenting may fail. Proper self-care helps you be healthier and more present so that you have the energy and the mindset to be more intentional.
Here’s how you can take an intentional approach to self-care:
Prioritize Sleep
Sleep is about more than rest; more and more scientific evidence shows that getting enough restful sleep is beneficial to multiple aspects of physical and mental health.
Make sleep a priority in your life. If you’re having trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, look into best practices for sleep hygiene and talk to your doctor.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness helps you slow down and focus on what’s going on in the here and now. It means setting aside regrets about the past and worries about the future so that you can appreciate what’s around you in the moment. Mindfulness can help you cope more effectively with stress, improving your mental health and your overall well-being.
Say No Sometimes
Do you find yourself doing everything for everyone else and nothing for yourself? Think about whether these additional tasks are consistent with your values and principles and if they’re helping you live intentionally. Don’t automatically agree to tasks or activities that don’t benefit you in these ways.
Exercise
If you don’t already have an exercise routine, start small with a 15-minute walk around your neighbourhood or some light stretching at home. Exercise not only benefits you physically, but it also forges a better connection with your body, improving communication between your psychological self and your physical self.
Review and Revise Your Diet
Be planful about what you eat and when you eat it. This will take more time than grabbing whatever’s handy or ordering take-out, but it will ultimately benefit you. Over time, you’ll develop a routine that incorporates shopping for healthy food and preparing nutritious snacks.
Getting intentional about food can be a great way to connect with your children: involve them in meal planning, shopping, and preparing food. You can also find moments to practice mindfulness here: immerse yourself in the colourful sights and the fresh scents of the fruits and vegetables at your grocery store, try a farmers’ market for even more sensory experiences, and really experience the feeling of the food as you cut it up and consume it.
Relating to Your Partner with Intention
If you have a parenting partner, the health of your relationship will affect your relationship with your children as well as the time you have for self-care. Here are some tips for intentional relating:
- Be honest and authentic. Relationships are built on vulnerability and trust; make yourself available to your partner emotionally, and be honest with them and with yourself.
- Value what is special and unique about your partner. Tell them why you value them.
- Be present when you’re having a conversation. If they’re talking, listen rather than distracting yourself with other thoughts or rehearsing your response.
- Focus on your connection: think about the ways in which you connect and the meaning of the connection to you, and act in ways that strengthen that connection.
- Be responsive to their needs. People are different: they react to events in ways that may be unique to them because of their personal histories, traumatic experiences, or even unconscious thoughts and feelings. Don’t respond to them based on how you would react under the same circumstances, but really try to understand and empathize with how they feel.
- Express appreciation whenever you think about it. If you never think about it, set aside a few minutes a day to do so.
How Counselling Can Help
Living intentionally doesn’t come naturally; it takes practice, and it can be challenging, especially if you have to face difficult truths about yourself, your relationships, and your parenting style. If you’re struggling to be more intentional, talking to a counsellor can help. They can serve as a sounding board, help you uncover uncomfortable feelings and thoughts that may be holding you back, direct you to mindfulness resources, and practice intentional communication with you.
The team at Kari Walton Counselling understands that making changes to your longstanding behaviours can be very challenging. We offer a wide range of treatment options, including cognitive-behavioural therapy, dialectical behaviour therapy, hypnotherapy, group therapy, and family therapy, and a safe and accepting environment for you to explore your deeper self.
Contact us today to make an appointment. Let’s work together to find the roadblocks on your journey to more intentional self-care, relating, and parenting.