The holiday season is fast approaching, bringing with it the joy of family gatherings and (let’s face it) the stress! Unless you have a cabin on a mountaintop and a snowstorm keeps you stranded there, Christmas is coming, and so is your family.
The good news is that you can make holiday events more relaxing and successful by following the tips below!
1: Set Realistic Expectations
You want your Christmas gathering to be the most perfect, magical celebration ever, with happy guests, a meal that everyone raves over, and brilliant memories to be shared for years to come. But that rarely happens, so set your expectations a little lower. Here’s how you can do that:
Plan a simple menu focusing on a few tried-and-true items, such as your famous homemade cookies or your signature roasted ham.
Purchase some ready-to-eat items like side dishes or desserts. No one needs to know that you didn’t get up at 5:00 am to bake everything from scratch; let the experts do that work while you get that extra rest you need.
Ask for help. Get a few trusted family members to bring dishes, help with setting up your space, or come up with activities for children.
2: Create a Comfortable Setting
If you’re hosting an event, prepare the setting to be relaxing. Soft lighting, soothing music, and comfortable spots for people to get away from others are all helpful in making your guests feel at home. Set up a spot for children to play if you’re expecting them, and designate a family member to help keep an eye on them.
Set a positive tone yourself by maintaining a calm, welcoming demeanour, even if you feel a little stressed out. Greet guests warmly, express gratitude for their presence, and steer conversations toward positive or neutral topics such as seasonal plans, movies, or neighbourhood happenings.
3: Establish Boundaries
You can’t choose your family, and there are always family members who have opinions they want to share. Normalize setting limits on acceptable topics of conversation. If someone brings up a subject you don’t want to be discussed, say so. Practicing ahead of time can be helpful. Try some of these to see what feels comfortable for you:
“This topic is so important, but maybe we can save it for another time. Let’s focus on enjoying each other’s company.”
“It seems like we have different views on this. Let’s agree to disagree and move on to something we can all enjoy discussing.”
“I think we could all use a break from this topic tonight. How about we talk about something lighter?”
“Christmas is about coming together and celebrating. Let’s keep things light and focus on what brings us joy.”
You can also change the topic to things like upcoming plans, fun things people have done lately, and so on. Have a list of topics prepared in advance so you can pivot to those.
Another strategy is to set up some separate discussion areas for people who really want to hash out a topic. Steer them to one of those to finish their conversation.
4: Be Mindful of Dietary Restrictions and Preferences
Ask your guests in advance if there’s anything they can’t or won’t eat. Make (or purchase) alternative versions of your menu for these guests. This may require some planning, but it doesn’t have to be a lot of extra work if you do your research in advance. Your guests will appreciate you thinking of them and their comfort.
5: Make Time for Self-Care
No matter how much you love your family, they can be a lot to handle for long periods of time. If you’re visiting relatives or hosting them, take some time to get away from them and be by yourself. Some things you might choose to do:
Go for a walk. If someone says they want to come with you, be honest about needing time alone; it will help them understand you and your needs better if you’re straightforward with them.
Schedule a salon appointment in advance. Get your hair or nails done, or go for a massage. That will get you out of the house and help you relax.
Go to bed early with a book or magazine. You don’t need an excuse—just say you’re tired and want to rest.
6: Designate a Safe Space
Set aside a room or another private place for guests who need a little space to breathe. Have some water and tissues handy, along with some comforting foods like chocolates or fruit. If a guest seems to be having trouble, quietly steer them there and tell them to stay as long as they need to. People who are struggling to cope with the people, the conversation, or the noise will appreciate this sanctuary.
7: Have an Exit Strategy
When things get overwhelming, plan to take a break by going outside for a few minutes or leaving for the evening. If you’re there with a partner, set up a way to signal to each other that it’s time to go. Don’t give in to guilt where this is concerned; you know when things are about to devolve for you, and it’s fine to listen to that!
8: Focus on Gratitude
Christmas is about celebrating togetherness, kindness, and the joy of giving, whether that’s through acts of generosity or simply spending time with loved ones. Set aside a few moments to talk about the things you and your guests are grateful for and what they’re looking forward to in the upcoming year. As an adjunct, you can also have them talk about what areas of their lives they can use help with; this will encourage honesty and may help build some new bonds.
Kari Walton Counselling wishes you and your loved ones the best of the upcoming festive season. If we can help you prepare, come and talk to us. It’s important to recognize that counselling is not only for severe psychological issues or intractable problems but for the maintenance of your everyday mental fitness. This type of care is a key component of self-care and overall well-being.
Every member of our team knows from experience how stressful it can be to deal with the holiday season. We want you to survive and thrive through it all. In our practice, we offer a wide range of treatment options, including person-centred counselling, psychodynamic therapy, humanistic counselling, integrative therapy, Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, hypnotherapy, group therapy, neurofeedback, and couples and family therapy in an environment where you’ll feel supported and understood.
Contact us today to make an appointment. Let’s work together to make this holiday season as worry-free as possible.